Christmas in Rammers: Elmo and Beth getting to know one another.

Christmas in Rammers: Beth playing with her presents.

Christmas in Rammers: Beth hailing an invisible taxi whilst driving her trike.

Christmas in Rammers: Beth watching television.

Christmas in Rammers: Grandma, Beth, Elmo and Grandad belting out festive tunes.

Christmas in Rammers: Beth and Elmo enjoying quality box time together.

Christmas in Rammers: Beth messing around with a box and her Dad's chest wig.

Merry Christmas from Merri the guinea pig and her cat friend. Hope you all have good times and enjoy not being at work. For me, Christmas will be spend at home sleeping and eating. For Merri it will probably be the same but with maybe a quick spin in the wheel thrown in. God bless.

Spent a very enjoyable evening with Dean and Steve on Friday. Much fat
was chewed. The picture is not the best and although Dean looks as if
he is on the verge of collapsing he was actually on good form. As was
Steve.

What went wrong when God designed the dachshund? There is definitely a design flaw. The legs are way too short and the body is too long. Lorries with long loads tend to have two sets of wheels at the back of the container for support purposes. Translating that theory to our dachshund would mean having two pairs of legs at the tail end. This would mean the dog would have six legs and would stop being a dog and start being an insect. Wow, man. We are messing with creation. Wooooo!

Later today I will be meeting up with Steve Kempton and Deano for a Christmas drinky. It won't be another tinselhead night - hopefully.

Beth seems to be finally starting to shake off her chesty cough. Now
Parkes has gone down with a bug and is feeling none to clever. I
should have trained to be a doctor.

A week to go until Christmas Day. Most of the shopping has been done
but for a few items. We will be at home this Christmas so if you are
thinking of burgling - don't bother.

Corr, it was bloody freezing this morning. I was crossing London
Bridge just before 8am when the sun decided to pop up and warm us all
up. To recognise the sun's fine efforts I decided to capture them on
my primitive camera phone. Later in the morning I bought a wooly hat
made in China. I wonder what Chinese sheep look like.

There are lots of nice Christmas lights and decorations around the homes of Ramsgate but this one is totaly awesome. This 3 terrace house block is really denting the national grid and is probably visible from space. Located opposite Dumpton Park station I pass it on most evenings and it always makes me smile.

Christmas Do: In the early hours of Friday morning I officially annouced my retirement from drinking sessions. Our team Christmas do was a belter with lots of fun, laughter, dancing, burping, thigh-slapping, babbling and drinking. Unfortunately for me there was too much of the later. So much so that I could only manage an hour at work on the Friday before going home ill. I drank real ale, lager, white wine, port, champagne, rum, vodka and had some still water with my meal. At around 6ish on Friday morning I was sleep-walking in my underpants around the restaurant and reception area of my hotel (a kind man on the reception desk managed to give me another room key to get into my room). I was sick in my hotel room, outside the hotel, in the toilets at work and on the train home. This post is not meant to sound boastful, merely to make sure I don't forget and do the same thing again.

Christmas Do: Iain & Bal getting excited about Santa.

Beth modelling exclusive knitware. She needs a bit of a haircut but won't sit still every time Grandma attempt to cut it.

Little walkers. Beth is almost there walking-wise. She will potter along hold one hand but she isn't ready yet to make the bold leap into the unknown world of freestyle walking.

...And another thing. I completed the sale of my house in Basildon
today. I spent 14 years living in Basildon from the tender age of
eleven. My nuts dropped in Basildon. I bought my first car in
Basildon. Had my first hangover in Basildon. And now none of my
immediate familly live in Essex. The last tie has been severed.
Goodbye Basildon old friend, you're not half as bad as people think.

Courtesy of the Cat Of The Day website. This is a pedigree Sphinx
kitten apparently. Looks like it needs to put some clothes on..

Hooray, it's the weekend. About bloody time too. I have got a bottle
of Bishop's Finger and a good film lined up for the train journey
home. Parkes has cooked a lovely Mousaka and we will eat, drink and
relax. The weather is supposed to be crap this weekend but who cares!
There's no place like home!!

Holy Poobags Batman

I'm not one to spread gossip but did you know that Gordon Ramsay has been putting his porridge spoon in some other ladies' breakfast bowl?! This is a little naughty of Gordon who does tend to advertise himself as a family man in his television shows. If you are as high profile as Gordon is you are taking a great risk by dipping your soldiers in someone else's egg. Firstly, there is a very high bounty for the person that catches you and gets the story - big incentive to dig up filth. Secondly, your career and good name is at stake. Lastly, and most importantly, you stand a chance of losing the dearest thing of all.

I really need a beer. Roll on the weekend.

November

Well, that's November done with. And didn't it go quickly?! As I get older the time seems to pass faster and faster - much like the sands of an hourglass. I really can't wait for Christmas and our New Year hollibobs in Majorca. However, with massive imminent job cuts in my division at RBS, maybe I should relish every working hour in London.

Certain hairs in my eyebrows seem to be getting really out of control. One of them is really thick, like a piece of old rope. Another couple are really long and require regular trimming. Why is my facial hair treating me with contempt? I have moisturised for the last 15 years and this is how is repays me!

Picture taken by Parkes. Beth hasn't been too well recently. She has
been coughing through the night and that contributes to lack of sleep
all round. During the day she seems bright but is clingly and not 100
percent. Sending your child to nursery certainly does build up their
immune system.

I remember when my sister and I were little, Mum used to take us to the supermarket for our weekly shop (Dad being at work). If we behaved ourselves we would be allowed to choose a packet of crisps to take home with us. Two of my particular favourites were Superstars (which came with a picture card of some sporting celebrity) and Monster Munch (beef flavour). I am very glad to see that the original Monster Munch has made a comeback - with original size bag, monster (pink one), and beef-flavoured maize-based snack.

Parkes, Beth and I spent a nice weekend in Brussels. It was great to see Mum, Rosie, Matt and Nat. Beth also managed her first projectile vomit explosion in our hotel room. The carpet didn't smell too good afterwards.

Brussels: Beth and Strings very excited by a little boy weeing. It is
probably the most underwhelming tourist attraction in the universe.

X Factor Update

I didn't manage to see X Factor last Saturday as I was in the pube with Kaiser Keith. The Kaiser had helped me move some bits out of my house in Essex and we were supping after a hard day. However I returned home to discover that Laura had been binned. Let's face it, she's got a great voice but I thought she lacked a bit of panache. However, Ruth, the foxy Spaniard, has a decent voice and lots of X factor and I think she'll go far.

This weekend we are off to Brussels to meet up with my mother and my sister's family. Should be good as we haven't seen them for ages. Pictures will be posted.

Also, starting this Sunday is the new series of I'm A Celebrity. Hey, I know it is trash telly but this one is dynamite and always makes me laugh. Sulu has got to be the favourite to win. It's a jungle Jim, but not as we know it.

John Capa's photograph of the death of a militiaman fighting Franco's rebel troops in 1936 - entitled The Falling Soldier. It is apparently a defining photograph in the history of photojournalism.

There is a little bit of controversy as to whether or not the photo is staged. It looks real(ish) to me. It looks like there is a wound to the head. Also it is a strange pose to be in if you were to stage the picture. I've got to say that the guy probably wasn't best advised regarding his wardrobe - white shirt on a landscape is quite conspicuous. However maybe that highlights that the civil war was indeed fought by ordinary folk.

Exit Russell Brand

What a shame! The Russell Brand radio show has kept me going whilst sitting on dreary train journeys for the past 16 months and now it is all over. Like Angus Deayton, Russ will be back at the Beeb in a year or two - it hardly seems worth him resigning.

For those of you who didn't hear the particular radio show that caused the controversy (and I'm sure a lot of those complaining Daily Mail readers didn't as usual) Russell and Jonathan Ross were out of order. But it was amusing.

Today (in case you hadn't noticed) America goes to the polls to vote for a new president. If we are believe the reports it sounds like a black man may soon become the most powerful person on the planet. This really is special! It will be fascinating to see how America lives under his stewardship. Will the American minorities finally have a true voice?

These are very exciting times but I am mindful that Obama ultimately is a politician and, regardless of the skin colour, will probably behave like one. However, millions of people believe he is the symbol for change and this is his opportunity to take America forward and change the rest of the world's perception of the US. Barack, good luck mate and please don't let us down.

Daddy and daughter out walking in Thanet.

X Factor Update

I cannot believe Austin got the boot on Saturday night. The boy had a golden voice and just needed a few more rounds to win over the fans. He sang the wrong song in his sudden-death head to head with Rachel (who, by the way, looks like she strangles small cats for kicks). So I have got to pick a new favourite - it has to be the Spanish girl Ruth Lorenzo. Guapaaaaaa!!! As for the Essex boy, thanks for the memories.

Afternoon coffee and biscuits in Morelli's.

Parkes and I took Beth for a walk on the east cliff on Wednesday afternoon. The skies were brooding and there were amazing contrasts of light and darkness. Beth was sound asleep and didn't notice.

Beth getting all sandy on Ramsgate beach.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Justina,
and also Kirsty C;
although a year has been and gone,
you still look twenty three.

Enjoy your cards and presents,
and a tasty tipple too;
for every birthday girl deserves,
a special real ale brew.

Cider night at Churchills in Ramsgate. Well organised and the ciders were, well, strong! I soon slipped into my alter ego, Randy Apples, don't remember much else about the evening.

The loo in my new office. Although it is a little dirty I find the loo sit fits my bum cheeks perfectly to aid that "comfortable sit down". Good supply of loo rolls too.

My new office desk. I have finally got a seat by the window which makes a change. If you look very carefully you will see a little green monster trying to eat my apple.

The view that greets me as I step out of the front door of my office. Nice cucumber. It is close to where I was working 18 years ago for HSBC - feels nice to be back.

Center Parcs: Sitting outside Starbucks. Beth decides to relax in Mum's lap.

Center Parcs: Beth enjoying the Center Parcs cycling experience.

Center Parcs: What a whopper!!

Center Parcs: Man and owl feeling the love. We both have hairy feet and a love of
furry ears.

Center Parcs: Parkes trying to talk to a Peregrine. The falcon was having none of it
and had his mind on other things - predominantly chicken feet.

Center Parcs: Parkes having a Cake-free moment and enjoying a breakfast in Starbucks.

Dad, Liz, Parkes, Beth and I have safely settled into our grubby villa
at Center Parcs. There were mouse poos on the cot and high chair which
were stored in the storage room. How lovely!