Beth with Sir Clive Sinclair Bear

The Life And Times Of Jimmy Greyballs

What is happening to my beloved cricket? All of a sudden silly money is being thrown at the Twenty20 format and test match cricket is at risk of becoming obsolete. Big money has changed football and rugby. I think I might just concerntrate on lawn bowls - at least this sport has it's feet on the ground. I travel through Broadstairs every day and see the lush green at Broadstairs Bowls Club and think to myself it would be nice to play again.

I have to say that I've thoroughly enjoyed the Euro2008 football tournament. I picked out Spain in our work sweeptake and tomorrow night I face my boss Bal who picked out Russia. Let the best man/team win and let's hope it's Spain.

Ramsgate's finest swingers. We saw Kaiser Keith and his good lady Nicole on Sunday in the park on St Luke's Avenue. Here they are demonstrating synchro swinging.

Beth getting to know one of her prunes.

I spent a lovely, relaxed weekend with Parkes and Beth. We didn't do much but it was nice to spend time with them both. I had felt terrible last Sunday (which happened to be my first Father's Day) so it was good to make up for being rubbish.

Credit Crunch vs Harvest Crunch. At least these little fellows aren't starving.

Dream

Recently I have been troubled by a dream. It involved me being driven in a taxi through dark country lanes. The taxi overtakes one of those athletic walkers who wobble their bums while they walk quickly. I must do something to upset the walker as the cab overtakes which makes the walker furiously chase the cab. The walker must reach speeds of 40mph+ and catches up with the cab. The cabs stops and the walker opens the passenger door, pulls me out of the cab and strangles me.

I asked my work colleague Paul what this dream meant. He said that I probably have something in life which is bothering me and this needs to be dealt with.

We took Beth to St Thomas' Hospital in London yesterday for another Mag-3 scan on her kidney. She was impeccably well behaved. It seems like the problem is still there and we wait to find out what the next step will be.

If Kaiser Keith were an alien I reckon he'd look a bit like this. Okay, he's green but he has got a twinkle in his eye and the ladies love his delightfully-floppy antennae.

On a Saturday night alien Kaiser Keith can be seen in the spaceport known as Ramsgate, where he frivolously spends his imperial space-credits on Gaddlactic ales and tells tales of his trusty spaceship doing back flips on the Kessel Run.

Summer Yomp Sugar Magik

Well, today the temperature has risen in the City of London. The ladies are wearing sandals and dresses, the pubs and bars are heaving and even the pigeons are breaking into a sweat (and boffing). Yes, it's summer in the City!!! I find the hot weather a bit of a problem on working days. Don't get me wrong - it is lovely not to have to wear a jacket and feeling the intensely-bright light burning onto one's retinas. However if I go out at lunchtime and sit in the sun for an hour I get all sweaty and unnecessary and so I tend not to do it. That said, after the recent naff weather, BRING ON THE HEAT!

I calculate the Isle of Thanet Yomp 2008 is around 13 weeks away and I am already feeling excited (may be due to the heat). Steve, Kaiser Keith and myself (and possibly Deano) will be participating in this Pagan ritual. However this year we will be doing it the other way around (not walking backwards, silly). Kaiser Keith's performed heroically last year managing to complete the last five miles with horribly blistered feet. This year we will be all wearing old footwear to avoid a similar fate.

I caught "The Apprentice" on TV last Wednesday and I have got to say that Alan Sugar's interpersonal skills are shockingly bad. The key thing that grates me is that he doesn't retain eye-contact with those he is addressing. In interviews I never take my eyes off the interviewer and on the rare occasion I have interviewed someone the same trick is applied. It demonstrates that you are focused on the conversation and not distracted. However, to give Sugar his credit, he has made a sizable wedge over the years and although his eighties home computers were rubbish he seems like a decent chap. Nice one Al!

What a man! I was walking to the vending machine at work when I past somebody who reminded me of Ray Krebbs. Being an avid Dallas fan when I was 8 or 9 Ray had a big effect on the way I live my life today. Firstly, he knew how to confidently combine a casual shirt and jeans. Secondly, he always put his family first (namely his wife Donna Krebbs). Thirdly he knew how to lasso a cow.

I was quietly waiting for my train at Dumpton Park station this morning when a roosting pigeon above me broke wind. I have never heard a bird boff before and I can only describe the sound as tight and wet. There was no smell. Considering the rubbish that feral pigeons consume I am surprised pigeon parps aren't more commonplace. Imagine the number of pigeon tommy-squeekers in Trafalgar Square each day!